Four weeks into isolation; is this really happening?
What day of the week is it? I have no idea. I feel like the days are just turning into weeks. Life for me at the moment is a bit of blur, it's waiting for another day to be closer to normality. There are good days and bad. Days when washing my hair is enough of an achievement, days when I stumble across beautiful new footpaths noticing the gorgeous blossom on every tree and walk for miles, and days when I'll clean out cupboard after cupboard. Finding your new normal is tough; tough but temporary. We need to remember that.
I'm afraid it's one of those bad days when I can turn a positive into a negative. I hate these days, but in these times, it's inevitable to have the odd one. I really have just scattered all my thoughts into this. I hope it resonates with some of you. We really are all in the same boat.
Confinement - when will it end?
No one knows. I get that. I can act it, but I'm really not that stupid. The thing is, us humans, we like structure and knowing what's what. If we order a parcel then we want to know exactly when it's arriving on our doorstep. The world (and Amazon Prime!) has conditioned us to be that way. So, when we're told to stay at home, it's totally understandable that we want to know; how long for? Our coping strategies would be in a much better place if it was just another three week countdown to pass 'go' again.
Of course, it's the right decision for us to be isolating. We need to do everything we can to protect the NHS. I guess what I'm saying is if 'when will it end?' keeps popping into your mind, you are not the only one...
Is this really happening?
I just can not believe that the world can stop just like this. Last year, if someone had told me I'd not see another sole for a month now then I would most definitely not have believed you. None of us would. I was almost hoping for some kind of twisted 'April Fools'.
Staying connected online
I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed Facetime calls, Zoom calls or anything of that nature. If I say my WiFi has dropped, you now know I'm probably lying! Sorry guys. I won't miss those when the world gets moving again.
I know they give us an element of social interaction, but it turns out I'm certainly more of a face-to-face girl. I want to greet you with a hug, I want to laugh with you and I want to feel your smile.
Calming your mind - is anyone else at an 'anxiety all time high'?
Sometimes we watch the 5pm daily update and more often than not, I regret it. The words 'peak', 'lockdown', and 'exit strategy' have taken on a whole new meaning since Coronavirus struck. The seriousness of it makes my mind go off in directions I hadn't thought possible, especially in the middle of the night. That's when anxiety rears it's ugly head the most.
For the most part I'm fine and a meditation here and there can help to get my mind back on the straight and narrow. I'm grateful for the free app 'Insight Timer' if anyone needs a recommendation.
Coping with normality again
I get the odd thought of returning to the pub, to the shops, to the gym; to all those places you didn't think twice about casting open the door to. And right now, it feels like a distant memory and quite unfamiliar. I worry that I'll overthink the very things we used to take for granted; touching door handles, hugging friends and loved ones, passing round a bottle of wine.
I know this storm will pass and we'll reflect on it differently. I look forward to just remembering the good times during this era; the laughs we've had in the garden, the feasts we've enjoyed on the patio, the glorious new walks we've uncovered, just noticing quite how beautiful our countryside is and smiling at how my yoga journey has progressed.
Thanks for reading guys. I did say it would be a jumbled up mess today; that's how my brain feels in all of this chaos. Stay safe everyone and when your mind wanders in a direction you don't want it to, just remember what you have to smile about.